Anosognosia

You don't know what you don't know
not that I'm accusing you dear reader
I'm taking a look at myself too and
I know as much as I can say I know
that I have tiptoed over the surface of

the world since infancy sure I broke
off weedstalks to use as fake swords
when I was rescuing fair damsels
in the garden and threw salt over my
shoulder too because Granny said so

and ever since collected other
people's superstitions like baseball
cards except I can't trade them well
maybe I could maybe I could swap
the black cat crossing the road for

don't cut your hair after sunset belief
here in the islands nor can I follow
the old wives' tales like baseball teams
to see who's on first or how many
RBIs and DUIs got racked up by

walking under a ladder or or
but I digress I'm the first one
to say you would be amazed
at how much I don't know
about myself even biologically

anatomically osteopathically
the pathways of the nerves
the web of sensitivity that runs
head to toe I can allude
to these inner workings

but I am not intimate even
with my own physiology
isn't it ironic I'd have to go
to medical school to find out
how the cranium flaunts

its fontanelle like a rift
in the seabed floor of my
blind mind on fingertips on
the home keys right here
just feeling my way

The First Thing

The first thing was an orange crate.

Cake tin lids for wheels and a room

filled with things to bump into or

around. A forest of chair legs 

cushions wooden cubes and woven

circles cylinders and the high plateau

where we raised our arms and ate

red green white brown yellow.

He sat behind a paper screen

held wide open a wall of alphabet

black and white an M a J an F

between us. My crate full of toys.

His slippered feet speed bumps or

sleeping policemen he called them.

But today when I burst through

onto his lap the world exploded.

He was the center and it did not

hold. That was the day I met

his anger. When did the days

begin to have names? Sunday

was a real day beginning to end.

Down the avenue of trees we walked.

Hand in hand with the giant

through the dark tunnel.

It was safe with him really.

We came out onto a river bank

where knots of men hunched

darkly over their fishing poles

divining the world beneath

the surface. Each tied on

to something I couldn't see.

Once a log floated by. No

a branch waving its shredded

stump caught up in the current.

Until I saw that the river

was a wet road you could

not cross. He answered

every question I asked.

Tomorrow will be Monday.

The Hair of the Barista

Just when you're least expecting it
you lift the lid of a boxful of pastries
and there straddling the circles
rectangles and spirals is one
long black hair silence descends
a hand reaches for the strand
plucks it away from the icing
and holds it aloft what more
can one say? Why proceed
further along the dark line
leading us back to the Doctrine
of Signatures to understand
better nay read what the barista
had written only minutes before
with one continuous line of sentiment
what curls what long dashes what
backwards twists and crossed
intentions conveyed by our conveyor
of delights. What expressions
from the espresso presser what
finds among the grinds we
can't resist this line

All morning from sun-up she
encounters the endless parade
across her counter the caffeine
needy who count on that cup
a shot a bit of froth that
bathéd every veyne in swich licour
it is April after all only
this rain has fallen therefore
the mysteries of the morning
shall remain locked up
in that dark filament

The Love of Your Life

Best not to think too hard sometimes
you squint and strain your brain
runs and hides in front of the television
or surfs the internet for hours the sphincter
has a shadow that grows tall at noon
best to breathe and open your eyes
but all this preamble too skirting around
the love of your life instead of sitting close
doing nothing in particular they say the skin's
the biggest organ in the bodily scheme
of things start there and peace be to
your winning smile that opens
up your difficulties with nonsense
and confusion your tang toungled
negotiations I'd say the love of your life
might best be other because holding
the bird too close as you know will
crush it and all oxygen will whoosh
out of your cave so the other it's true
is the mother of love's invention call it
simple reflection the possibilities
permutations are the stuff of conversation
and the rich activity of the arts and sciences
as usual words aren't going to get you
anywhere only action let's just say interaction
those moments that disappear as soon as we
notice I said we touch them love is
the Venn diagram where overlapping
leads to long napping leaning into other
with longing is the avocado pit in the pond
circle upon circle the marriage of true
circumferences breached by kissing again
and again

The Trait Most Deplored in Others

It's already started with the cold air
at our backs we begin to blame our
aches and pains on others just as we
expect Nirvana to be handed us by
anyone but ourselves waiting for
the Buddha to wake up and reach into
his pockets pull out the winning ticket
and say in broken English with a sublime
smile here you are you are here
it's here the thing you've been looking for
you can take it all at once or so many
now and some later at intervals
I suppose what I most deplore in others
I recognize with wincing familiarity
but since you asked I think too much
probably I think too much how much
time we spend in banter a deplorable thing
but then again without it we would learn
nothing indirectly and our lives so clean and sharp
would cut us we'd be a bloody mess in our
stasis without friends how about instead
stupidity even more deplorable than say
just being silly and larking about
no I'd say stupidity is up there
but even so I'd qualify it I've met
people with low intelligence a questionable
statement at the worst of times and
anyway they were fine decent people
who would do anything for you especially
that most precious gift compassion
also warmth also seeing you for who you are
no no pessimism would be it the person
who like E.F. Schumacher once brilliantly said
is afraid to even make a start the pessimist
is most deplorable

Impermanence in Stinson Beach U.S. Post Office

The postmistress with an empty bell
and her back to the door letters
packages and more on the floor
her face framed in the year
I stood on the side of the road outside
Eureka one eye looking out for the police
the other on the ditch I had to cross
to reach the trees where sleep was calling
no one stopping to give me a ride
so I picked up her bell by the diamond sutra
handle twisted as it was with flashes of lightning
and drops of dew all cast in bronze
shook it gently to dispel the fog in there
till she turned her head as if she heard
the ringing in my ears what else what else
perhaps sufficient dust particles vibrating
reaching that ancient desk where she
sat with her back rounded with her powerful
fingers spread wide over 868 stamps
I saw her body lift slightly with a breath
one two I waited I had time the silence
kept breaking and breaking beyond
my reach I put my hand
into this pocket that one too
searching for the right change
the right metaphor I knew
she wouldn't take more
especially less I looked up
to see her standing there snuffling
chanting over and over
it doesn't go out from here