She's Always There

She's always there standing before the notice board
while I push harder into the table knocking my knees
against the wood jarring cups of green tea
the rain separates us the years ice up
in the clouds til the weight of their
memories overflow and it all comes
down they say we need the rain me
I'm drawn to trees and shrubs vines
flowers even weeds warrant a long
appreciative look at times she's there
still running her eyes over the posters
postits lost and found announcements
engagements arrangements for sale
and otherwise I can't get inside
her head her arms are crossed
hardbound across her chest her
fingers splayed out from her armpits
like small vestigial wings perhaps
she's searching for flying instruction
should the hours be convenient
if her budget allows or else
a tree house she can rent
sleep and eat high off the ground
or maybe the guitar maker
going cheap will sell his soul for a song
or is it just a waiting game the rain
bringing down all this lost love
and indecision all the moments we never
captured in photographs melting now
descending between the notice board
and this table in the shelter of my words
the tea vibrating ever so gently as I
rearrange my limbs my hand racing
across the pale expanse of the page
drawing the ink out of this pen I've been
carrying around not knowing why
never really grasping the reasons for anything
I turn around she's gone
it's never a crisis
just an absence
sudden perhaps depending
on the way I turn my head
or lift my hand
like this
just a pause
and a little breeze